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September 16, 2003
Reality Vs. Drunk Reality
Over the weekend, I went out drinking in Boston and accepted a gracious offer from freinds of mine to spend the night rather than driving back to Portsmouth. In the middle of the night, as often happens when you've been out drinking, I needed to go to the bathroom. My friends live in a nicely refinished, two-story apartment in East Boston. Their upstairs bathroom happens to be right outside of their bedroom door. As I stood there in the darkness, pondering how I could make the least amount of noise, I experienced a classic confrontation between Reality and Drunk Reality:
Drunk Reality: I am the drunken ninja master! I can move cat-like down these stairs and use the first floor bathroom. My sleeping friends won't hear a thing. I am so clever.
Reality: I am the drunken elephant. Each and every step on this creaky, old wooden staircase will be clearly audible throughout the building. I might as well dump a 246 piece mechanic's tool set down the stairs for all the good my inebriated efforts at stealth will do. I am an idiot.
Posted by Dan at September 16, 2003 04:15 PM
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