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October 05, 2003

Beer-Movie Review: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 Version)

As if The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III and The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre hadn't milked every last thin dime out of Tobe Hooper's 1974 horror classic, along come "Armageddon" producer Michael Bay and music video director Marcus Nispel to piss on the ashes by remaking the original as a teen-movie slasher flick. Sure, there will be some scary moments, particularly after Leatherface gets rebuilt into a futuristic cyborg killer... Oh, wait, I'm confusing this movie with Jason X. It's an easy enough mistake to make, particularly after the 7 beers I estimate it would take to enjoy this juvenile, derivative garbage.

Rating:

      

Are you a Jessica Biel fan? Think Michael Bay is an unappreciated genius? Then it's time to hit those comments.

Click here for an explanation of the Beer-Movie Rating System

Posted by Dan at October 5, 2003 08:09 PM

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