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November 05, 2003
Gambling Problem Analogies
In their successful effort to defeat the indian casino measure on Maine's ballot, casino oponents were frequently heard to compare problem gambling with substance abuse, which Maine also has precious little experience with. In that spirit, I've composed a table of gambling activities and their comparable substance abuse problems:
Legalized Gambling Activity - Substance Abuse Equivalent
Scratch Tickets - One Word: Thunderbird
Keno - Four martini lunch
Slot Machines - Chasing a handful of Tylenol 3 with a glass of Almaden
High Limit Slots - Chasing a handful of Vicodan with a glass of Cristal
Three Card Poker - Hillbilly heroin
Sports Book Wagering - Smoking dope, chasing it with Gallo
Race Book Wagering - Chewing tobacco and drinking Old Milwaukee
Baccarat - Snorting cocaine through a rolled up hundred dollar bill
Money Wheel - Popping random pills you find in grandma’s medicine cabinet
Pai Gow Poker - Frequenting opium dens
Texas Hold’em - Competitive binge drinking
Blackjack - Mainlining smack
Spanish 21 - Mainlining cheap smack
Craps - Free-basing
Posted by Dan at November 5, 2003 04:08 PM
Comments
Let me add another entry to the table that is slightly off-topic, but very appropriate to the current legislative approach in Maine:
Three-Card Monte: Socialized medicine
Because you're not gonna win. And even if you do, someone will chase you down to mug you and steal your wallet.
Posted by: jug at November 6, 2003 11:20 AM
The Texas Hold 'Em experience is very dependent on betting structure. No limit is powerful stuff, limit, less so, though dependent on stakes.
Low-limit Hold 'Em - diet pills: awake for hours and hours without any appetite
Higher Limit Hold 'Em - Ritalin: awake for hours and hours and mysteriously focused
No Limit Hold 'Em - Adrenochrome: "A bad experience with a very dangerous drug" from Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas
Posted by: Daniel at November 7, 2003 06:41 PM
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