« Parade Of Wierdos | Main | Yeee-haw! »
November 22, 2003
Up And Down In Fabulous Las Vegas
As promised, I've finally had the chance to transcribe the impressions and experiences I brought back from fabulous Las Vegas. I love the city's new tourism slogan: "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Much like the city itself, the slogan conveys a sense of intimacy that is completely at odds with reality. Just as the friendly faces and grandiose designs of Vegas bely a cold and calculated plan to seperate you from every last dollar you can spare, so to does the slogan conflict with the fact that nobody can keep the grimy details of a weekend spent living the fast life in Vegas to themselves.
Here are some of my grimy details. In honor of the financial analysts conference that was the nominal reason I got to go, I will present the experiences in classic stock ticker fashion.
McCarran Airport Will the construction at the Vegas airport ever end? Also, USAirways is moving out to Terminal D effective December 3. Hello, monorail.
The Rooms at Bellagio Gigantic, comfortable and well-appointed. I don't know a better place to stay when somebody else is paying.
Gambling at Bellagio By attempting to make the casino floor a serene experience with continental charm, they've managed to suck most of the fun out of playing craps. If I want serene, I'll go to the spa.
Fat Burger A meal fit for a king.
The Golden Nugget Probably the most fun property in MGM-Mirage's Las Vegas fleet, which is a bit like being the tallest extra in the Wizard of Oz.
Craps At Binion's Horseshoe I love this place. It doesn't matter that it's old and dirty and smoky, these guys deal one of the best craps games you can find. They are super player-friendly. They even pay buy odds (19-10) on placed four and ten bets.
The Gold Coast Even though I like the place, nothing good ever happens to me here. One or two more losing trips and I may have to decide I don't like it any more.
The Hard Rock Loud and dark, high table limits and ho's, ho's, ho's.
The Tennessee Titans and Minnesota Vikings Yeah, yeah, I know. But all the Titans had to do was score one stupid touchdown to cover the second half spread.
The Barbary Coast Another great casino. It's comfortable and intimate and good things happen to me there.
Krispy Kreme Donuts They're all over Vegas now. I had breakfast at New York-New York on Sunday morning and at Treasure Island on Monday morning.
The Four Queens Not only did they give me a bunch of free stuff, but they had a great two-deck blackjack game going on. The sushi I had for lunch there resulted in no unplanned trips to the emergency room, and was fairly tasty, besides.
Fitzgerald's I didn't detect the usual stench of desperation when I walked in. It weirded me out, so I just left.
The Angry Drunk Guy Who Got Himself Arrested Sure, buddy, it's all a big conspiracy. Everyone's out to get you. Whatever.
The Lady Luck Is it any wonder Isle of Capri wanted to get rid of this dump? The whole place smells like old ashtrays and feet.
The California Hotel It was definitely my own fault for staying one shoe too long in the face of overwhelming negative momentum, but I won't soon forgive these guys for the shellacking they put on me. Where ever you are, Enrique, from the Phillippines, damn you! Damn you to hell!
$4 Large Shrimp Cocktail at The Golden Gate Excellent with a splash of tobasco added to the cocktail sauce. A nice, lite afternoon snack that sits well with five or six beers.
Craps at The Las Vegas Sports Club It's not the most expensive joint in town, to be sure. (I've never seen a place where the box man is part of the dealer crew and gets rotated around to and from the other positions!?!?!) At this point, I'd like to give a shout-out to the guy from Montana who was playing craps for the first time and kept ringing up all those hard numbers.
Bally's Las Vegas I actually managed to enjoy myself while gambling here. You gotta love a high-quality craps dealing crew. Our crew kept the game going for 20 minutes without a box man, who was myseriously absent. I still love the Big Kitchen Buffet.
The Palms They deal a pretty mean craps game here. The dealers also give you pretty good advice.
Posted by Dan at November 22, 2003 03:17 PM
Comments
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)