|Party A: Why do you support President Bush?
||Party A: Hey, Bob, what happened to your face?
|Party B: Because we're at war so we need strong leadership
||Party B: Oh, this? Jim and I went out last night and we got into a bar fight
|Party A: Yeah, but Bush got us into this war in the first place.
||Party A: Jim starts a fight every time he goes out. Why do you keep hanging out with him?
|Party B: The middle of a war is not the time to change course...||Party B: Well, Jim is really big, so he's good to have around during a bar fight...|
Somebody needs to write a country music song about this picture, which appears here with the original caption from the CNN.com story:
The headline for today's Reuters story about the passing of famous cooking show host Julia Child:
Comedian Denis Leary is said to be rethinking his life.
Just when the 2004 campaign season appeared poised to become the most bland on record, former Republican presidential hopeful Alan Keyes has agreed to move to Illinois and challenge Democrat Barack Obama for the Senate seat vacated by retiring one-term Republican Peter Fitzgerald. Obama, who delivered a stirring speech at last month's Democratic National Convention, is considered a prohibitive favorite. The GOP has been desperately seeking a candidate for the seat to replace Jack Ryan. Ryan dropped out of the race after it became known that he somehow managed to screw up his marriage to former Star Trek beauty Jeri Ryan, alienating the vital "Comic Book Guy" demographic.
The Illinois Republican Party settled on Keyes after exploring numerous other possibilities, including former Bears head coach Mike Ditka. Ditka turned down the chance to run after realizing that he could actually make money suffering through mockery and crushing defeats by simply accepting another NFL head coaching position. Having no such alternative to expose himself to high levels of public ridicule, Keyes happily accepted the nomination.
I, for one, welcome Alan Keyes back into the public spotlight. As many of you no doubt remember from the 2000 Republican primaries, Alan Keyes is totally nuts. I predict that he will provide hours of entertainment en route to that fateful day in November when Obama takes him out behind the electoral woodshed.