An economist being interviewed on CNBC's Squawk Box this morning referred to the companies as, "... two drunks, leaning on each other to keep from falling down."
Retailers K-Mart and Sears have announced their intention to merge. I made up some funny headlines about the deal. Feel free to chip in with your own:
K-Mart Buying Sears In Deal Expected To Collapse Into Insatiable Black Hole Of Shareholder Value
Blue Light Soon To Be Detectable Only As X-Rays Emanating From Event Horizon
Lack Of Criminal Record Leaves Bob Vila Better Positioned Than Martha Stewart To Face Upcoming Insolvency
Wal-Mart Revises Future Earnings Outlook Upwards By The Cost Of One Beat-Down
So I've been losing some weight lately. Nothing too dramatic. I think I'm down about 30 pounds from where I started. Apparently, it's becoming noticeable, because people are starting to ask me about it at work. The conversations, themselves, are a little troubling, though:
"Hey, man, have you been losing weight?""Yeah, I've lost about 30 pounds since June."
"You doing that Atkins diet?"
"No, I've just been eating less and exercising more."
"What diet is that?"
"No particular diet. I just did things that make sense, like not drinking three or four 20 oz. sodas every day."
"Oh, so you're doing the Sugar Busters diet."
"No, I still eat sugar. I just eat less of it and try to balance it out with vegetables and lean meat."
"So you did the South Beach diet?"
"No! Listen to me, you insufferable imbecile! I have not been on any of those moronic fad diets. I simply ate smaller quantities of healthier food and exercised more often."
"Is that the Scarsdale Diet? My neighbor was thinking about doing that..."
"Auggghhhh!!!"